Did you ever have a day where nothing looks like it will work out well? I don't simply mean walking to the store and rain soaking your brand new $400 suit. I don't mean a traffic accident that totals your only means of transportation. I don't even mean a lengthy stay at the hospital looking at death.
What I'm talking about is complete collapse of everything you've worked for - everything you've dreamed of - and not having the will to start over. I look at my future and I feel like I'm lying to myself.
"Sure! You can do it! Who cares (other than you) that you're 51 and starting to feel it? You have a bright future and soon everyone will see that your masterplan was brilliant!"
What fucking masterplan would that be? Hell, I don't know. I just know life sucks sometimes.
